Gaining

Hi all-
I guess I have to admit that I am a long time lurker on here, but I was curious if anyone else has this experience.

As long as I can remember, I have been an FA and always wanted to gain weight. Over the past year I have gone from 155 to 180 and i am starting to grow a major gut since I am only 5'5.

However, I am conflicted, on one hand I find it extremely erotic. A few friends have commented and it always turns me on. The other hand makes me want to not gain and in fact lose the extra weight. Am I messed up or is this something you all have seen?

If you have dealt with this, I would greatly appreciate feedback on how you dealt with it?

It is very common to be conflicted. You may always be conflicted, at least to some degree.

But you should make up your mind.

Either get fat or stop gaining.

If you can't decide, don't gain anymore until you do decide.

trust this man, he is a genius

I have thought about setting a small goal weight for now. I have loved every pound so far and I imagine I would continue to do so as I get larger. I was thinking 200lbs which would be about 20 more pounds and a total gain of about 50lbs. On a 5'6 frame, another 20lbs would be a big difference.

Thanks for the advice